Keeping Strong

A lot of people keep asking me how we are able to cope so well and stay so strong hroughout all this so I thought I'd just add a bit to explain how we are dealing with all this.
It has always been my view that things happen for a reason, I believe strongly in fate. Now, I could interpret all this in a negative way as a run of bad luck and think that I must have done something really bad in a past life to deserve this, if I was that sort of person I would have hit the bottle by now and would not be so strong. Thankfully I am able to always find the positive in any given situation, a quality I have learned over the years, having lived a very interesting and sometimes difficult life so far, I have experienced quite bad depression in the past and have chosen not to go through that again, therefore I must find something to smile about whatever the difficulties I face.

Patrick is a very special baby, there are thousands of babies born with disabilities all the time and there always will be. These babies need special care and lots of love and patience. Without blowing my own trumpet I know that as a family we have the patience and the love that is needed to cope with Patrick, I believe that special babies are delivered to special families. I'm not religious so I don't know where I get this belief but I know that I have always held this thought.

A lot of people have also said that they feel sorry for us and that we really don't deserve all this. My answer to that is, if special babies are born all the time, what makes us any less deserving than any other family? Patrick deserves the very best chance to reach his potential and we can give him that.
If someone shows sympathy, however well it is intended, it actually frustrates me. It's almost like saying 'Patrick's problems are a burden and you don't deserve it' and I feel very strongly that this is not the case. Patrick is beautiful and strong and I feel blessed to have him as my son, even with all his extra needs.
Thankfully Martin shares these views, making us a very strong combination, we are able to be strong for eachother and if one of us is having a bad day, the other can provide the lions share of strength for that day.

I have had quite a bit of contact with people with special needs and their carers through my work as a youth worker. We run a special club for Physically and Mentally handicapped teenagers. These people enjoy their life and live with no fear and are surrounded by strong people, I have never met a carer yet who couldn't find something to smile or laugh about, however tiring it may be to look after their child.
With all this said, I don't want you to think that I don't have my moments of despair, I wouldn't be normal if I didn't shed a few tears. But throughout all of this my tears have been shed for Patrick if he is pain or for Isaac who of course doesn't really understand the severity of our situation and will discover as he gets older and sees Patrick developing that he may not be able to teach his little brother to play football, something that he has been looking forward to since he found out I was pregnant.

I'm sure many people don't know what to say to us at the moment so they either say 'I'm sorry' or say nothing at all. We may not need sympathy at the moment but we do still need strength and some sense of normality so don't think twice about getting in touch, we're not able to travel too far from the hospital at the moment but visitors are always welcome.